LIFE HACKS

GROCERY STORE HACKS

MARKDOWN MEAT SECTION

I know you think, Oh that’s bad meat, but usually it just means it will expire in 2 days. If you’re cooking it THAT DAY or freezing it, who gives a shit? Save the money.

  • Check the date, if it’s already expired, tell them, it’s illegal to sell.

  • If the date is covered up (also illegal)

  • If it expires in 2 days, use it or freeze it.

SPICES

A spice is a spice is a spice. Kroger steak seasoning is pretty much the same shit as Montreal steak seasoning, except it’s $.99 intead of $3.89.

DON’T SUBSTITUTE

  • Kraft is the only American cheese worthy of its name. The other are all oily and weird. Don’t bother trying to substitute.

  • Dr B and Dr Thunder are NOT Dr Pepper substitutes

ORGANIC

  • “Natural flavors” can literaly be anything. That doesn’t make it healthy.

  • Dyes are stupid. Why do they dye our food? avoid them if possible.

  • If you go to buy a chicken breast and it’s bigger than your wife’s breast, you probably shouldn’t eat that. There’s definitely some unnatural hormone stuff going on there.

  • Nitrates apparently are bad, need more info, as non-nitrate meat is like 3 times the price.

MECHANIC SHOP HACKS

Check Engine Light

  • Could be bad, but not necessarily.

  • If it comes on, Always stop and check your oil level

  • Always tighten your gas cap (loose gas cap can make it come on)

  • You don’t HAVE to go to the mechanic necessarily to see why your check engine light came on.

  • You can go to Autozone and they have an OBDII reader (why is this happening computer)

  • If it says O2 Sensor I don’t really care (common cause)
    • will affect gas mileage slightly

    • might affect your ability to pass an emissions test

    • not really a “I HAVE TO FIX NOW issue”

  • If it says “evaporative emissions bla bla bla”
    • buy a new gas cap and have them clear the code before you go the shop. (common cause)

Oil Light Comes on

  • Turn they key off and coast to the shoulder

  • Check your oil level

  • If you have plenty of oil,
    • Do not attempt to crank again

    • Have it towed to the shop

    • Probably a bad oil pump

    • Can toast your engine in 30 seconds or less

  • If it’s low on oil
    • Add oil

The Expensive Brake Job

  • They will replace the whole freaking brake system if you let them, becuase it’s better for their bottom line and better for them from a liability standpoint.

  • Do you need to flush and bleed the entire brake system and put in new fluid? not always, not unless there is air in the lines.

  • Do I need new rotors? If they got worn too thin, or if you have a BMW, yes, otherwise then can “turn” them where they just grind them smooth again (Oreilly’s will do this for you if you’re doing your own brake jobs)

  • Do I need metallic/or ceramic brakes? Not super necessary, but for the price difference you might as well, they’ll last longer and produce less brake dust

Your fuel pump is out

  • That sucks to work on, they have to pull off the whole freaking fuel tank - some idiot decided years ago it made sense to put the fuel pump INSIDE the gas tank and everyone does it. I don’t understand. Yes, it will be expensive.

TuneUp

Depends on the car

  • Some cars it takes 10 minutes to change spark plugs

  • Others they have to remove the fuel rails to even get TO the spark plugs (dumb dumb shit)

  • On a BMW I paid as much as $600 to have 4 spark plugs changed

  • In contrast, on and old GMC, you can do it yourself in 20 minutes for the cost of the spark plugs.

Should I use super-unleaded?

  • If your car has a turbo, or high compression, or is a “Sports Car” which usually means it likely has a turbo or high compression.

  • Otherwise, not really necessary.

Car is sputtering like you got bad gas

  • Go to the auto parts store and tell them, they’ll give you something to put in the gas tank that will mix with the water portion to make it combustible so it’ll burn out through your engine, it’s basically a version of alcohol.

MONEY HACKS

  • Don’t buy unnecessary stupid shit
    • I’m stilling working on this one

  • Save for retirement - you’ll get old hopefully
    • If you’re a young person reading this, start your career putting 10% in your 401k if you have one. You won’t miss the money and you’ll be able to retire comfortably.

    • I wish I started earlier

  • Travel is more fun than stuff

  • Don’t buy stuff you can’t really afford, just because someone will finance you.

  • Don’t buy more house than you need.

  • Don’t buy new cars, they depreciate massively, immediately. Buy one low mileage a few years old.

  • DON’T rack up credit card debt - those companies are demons and interest rates are insane.

  • Don’t sign up on campus for the high interest credit card to get the cool bluetooth speaker they are giving away when you sign up.

  • Don’t sign up on the plane for a high interest credit card to get free air miles.

  • Don’t decide to buy something because of the awesome mail-in rebate. You will either forget to mail it in, or they will just never come through.

TRAVEL HACKS

  • Don’t buy the supplemental insurance when you rent a car - your personal car insurance covers if you have full coverage.

  • Don’t buy the trip insurance unless it’s a super expensive trip.

  • Always ask for early checkin - it’s free

  • Always ask for late checkout - it’s free

  • Join the hotel loyalty clubs if you travel a lot, you’ll earn free stays

VEGAS HACKS

  • Don’t plan to be there more than 3 days

  • Watch your intake

  • Decide what you can lose, and don’t go the ATM after that.

  • That hot girl on the strip doesn’t really think you’re sexy.

EDUCATION HACKS

If you’re going to college

  • Start at a Junior College for your basics. You’ll save thousands.

  • Don’t spend $250k for an advanced degree in a profession that will never pay your college debt. Example (artist, teacher, social worker)

  • For teachers, some schools will pay for your education if you agree to a certain number of years of service.

  • If you qualify, look for grants and forgivable loans

  • Pay attention - you’re paying for this, or your parents are, so get something out of it.

  • If you party now and flunk out, you won’t be able to enjoy the rest of your life as much, because chances are good you won’t make as much money.

  • It can be hard to get stuff out of online classes, because they don’t command your attention like a professor standing in front of you does.

Not EVERYONE needs college

  • We need tradesmen, Electricians, Steel workers, etc. and they make good money and don’t need to study differential equations.

  • Technical/Trade Schools are a lot cheaper (or can be) and you can still get a quality targeted education.

  • If you’re somoene who can teach yourself? You can learn a lot on your own.
    • “You wasted $150,000 on an education you coulda got for $1.50 in late fees at the public library.” - quote from Goodwill Hunting

Important Skills/Habits

  • Self-discipline can make or break your life

  • Learn to take good notes - so freaking important

  • Learn to read critically

  • Read from more than one source - people explain the same concepts very differently, and some are wrong.

  • Don’t memorize things that you don’t need to memorize.

  • Set aside study time where there are no distractions (don’t try to study while watching TV)

PET HEALTH HACKS

  • Don’t feed your dog cat food
    • It’s hard on the liver, kidneys, and pancreas because of the higher protein levels in cat food as compared to dog food.

  • Dude, give your animals heartworm and flea medicine regularly, Parasites ain’t cool and can hurt and/or kill them.

  • If you’re gonna chain your dog to a stake in the yard - just don’t have a dog, you selfish prick.

BEING A GOOD HUMAN HACKS

DON’T

  • Don’t judge

  • Don’t bully

  • Don’t belittle

  • Don’t make fun

  • Don’t discount

  • Don’t ignore

  • Don’t purposely exclude

  • Don’t physically, emotionally, or sexually abuse, another human being.

DO

  • Smile and wave hi, even if you’re not having a great day.

  • Keep in touch with the people you love.

  • Show people how you feel about them.

  • Make your actions reflect your feelings.

  • Be genuine.

  • Admit it when you mess up.

  • Say “I’m sorry” and Say “I love you”

  • Listen, don’t just wait for your turn to talk.

  • Learn to respect people’s boundaries, and heed their wishes

  • Respect one another

  • Keep your word

  • Speak up against injustice

  • Stand up for those who can’t stand up for themselves